High Converting Copy Secrets Revealed: Create Irresistible Copy

How To Attract Customers Through Their Inbox

Through your email magazine/newsletter . . .
That's How!!
http://ping.fm/JJXTQ

The story of the "Heart of the Champion"...Do You Have What it Takes?

The story of the "Heart of the Champion"...

"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career...

I've lost almost 300 games...

26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning

shot and missed...

I've failed over and over and over again in my life...

And that is why I succeed."

Who said it?

The legendary icon himself, Michael Jordan.

That's what I'm looking for. 

A champion. 

A heart of pure gold, of pure desire.

That's what it takes.

You WILL fail in network marketing over and over and over again . . .

There is absolutely no doubt about that and no way around it.

It takes that one final game winning shot to make it over the hump...

and over that hump is everything

you've ever wanted in life.

It's here:

http://www.SevenFigureMasterMindTeam.com/ranwes

Be like Mike...

Randine Westgate
Skype: randine.westgate1

http://www.SevenFigureMasterMindTeam.com/ranwes

Free Webinar That Teaches How To Harness The Power of Facebook PPC

Learn How To Harness The Power of PPC With Facebook

I have not posted in a while but I just had to share this. 

I have been learning a lot and setting up a new business endeavor. The learning curve has been huge. 

One thing I really am pumped about thanks to watching this fantastic free webinar is Facebook Pay Per Click (PPC). 

Watch this FREE video and you will see why!!

http://ranwes.newppcprofitportal.com/

Listen carefully.

Take notes.

Take action.

Leave your comments below. I would love to hear from you.

Yours in marketing for success

Randine

10 Ways to Get Your Freelance Writing Foot in the Door - Freelance Writing Jobs | A Freelance Writing Community and Freelance Writing Jobs Resource

I was looking for some sound advice on how to get my foot in the door with freelance writing and came across this.

Originally, I had responded to an opportunity posted on Facebook. It was a change to guest blog and a very high traffic and respectable blog. http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/guest-posting/

After registering for this great opportunity, I decided to browse the content.

I have been trying to get my first freelance writing or even copyediting, proofreading gig for a while now with no luck. So when I saw this article, I immediately clicked and read it hungrily searching for the answers I was seeking.

http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/2009/11/10-ways-to-get-your-freelance-writing-foot-in-the-door/

I found them... and am going to implement them more aggressively now that I know I am on the right track.

I have already voiced my interest in writing and setting up a Fan Page for our local Children's Foundation. I am also going to attend the new workshops/get togethers for those in our community who are involved in or want to get involved in (like me) the local creative industries.

There are other things I have seen a need for in our business community that I will offer my services to.

Eventually, all this networking and gratis work will help me boost my brand and reputation and I will start earning an income doing what I love - writing.
10 Ways to Get Your Freelance Writing Foot in the Door - Freelance Writing Jobs | A Freelance Writing Community and Freelance Writing Jobs Resource

The same actions given here can be done by anyone looking to promote their product or service.

Yours in marketing for success

Randine

Advertising by MBP | Email Advertising | Text Link Ads | Guaranteed traffic

Advertising by MBP | Email Advertising | Text Link Ads | Guaranteed traffic

Google Analytics Blog: Back-to-Basics: Non-Brand Keywords

If you are wondering how google ranks search terms and what keywords and tags are ranked highest with Google, this is the blog for you!!

Google Analytics Blog: Back-to-Basics: Non-Brand Keywords

I was recently browsing Google Analytics to learn how their search engine functions in order to be a more effective marketer and came across this great blog.


Google Analytics Blog: Back-to-Basics: Non-Brand Keywords

If you are a new or seasoned online marketer or want to get more traffic to your site, sites, or blogs, you must bookmark this blog.

Yours in marketing for success

Randine

To learn how you can earn 100% by blogging on one of the highest traffic sites, click here:

http://www.empowernetwork.com/almostasecret.php?id=ranwes

These Three “Lines” Close Sales Like Magic (see why) | Empower Network

These Three “Lines” Close Sales Like Magic (see why) | Empower Network

Facebook Fan Pages Are Powerful Marketing Tools

Facebook is the most powerful social site . . . 

If You Are In Business Or the Business of Marketing You 

NEED to Build  A Presence There

I just looked at the Stats Today and this is what Facebook Is Saying:

• We had 845 million monthly active users at the end of December 2011

• Approximately 80% of our monthly active users are outside the U.S. and Canada.

• We had 483 million daily active users on average in December 2011. 

• We had more than 425 million monthly active users who used Facebook mobile products in December 2011.

• Facebook is available in more than 70 languages.

Create Fantastic List Building Fan Pages in Just 5 Minutes

Those are some staggering statistics, friends.

As a business owner, network, internet, or affiliate marketer you cannot afford to ignore these facts. 

Facebook and Facebook mobile are where your prospects, customers, members and partners are hanging out every single day!!

If you haven't set up a Fan Page for you or your business yet, you need to do it today!!

If you are not computer saavy, that's okay. Click the link below and you will get all the tools you need to create sleek, professional Fan pages complete with capture pages and anything else you can imagine. 

Create Fantastic List Building Fan Pages in Just 5 Minutes


This state of the art video tutorial comes complete with 

12 Fanpage Templates Created Specifically For You!

With capture pages that are guaranteed to get noticed and generate leads.

Create Fantastic List Building Fan Pages in Just 5 Minutes

10 OTO Templates With Master Resell Rights That Will Entice Even Your Most Reluctant Visitor

Create Fantastic List Building Fan Pages in Just 5 Minutes

So If Facebook is where your prospects are, why aren't you?


Get in and get social network marketing on the largest and fastest growing platform - Facebook - today!!


Grab this tool today. It might just be the most profitable $7 you ever spend . . . 


Yours in marketing for success


Randine

If you want to learn more great ways to explode your business you owe it to yourself to check this out.

How to Turn a Negative Life Experience Into a Positive For Your Business

The great land of Canada has Employment Insurance to help you along but what happens when it runs out?




Over the weekend, I was logging on to the Service Canada site to report my earnings for EI and I got a message saying they did not have a record on an active claim for me.  


 What? I do not have a claim?


  I called them today because yesterday was a holiday and learned that my 26 weeks which I was eligible for ended on January 28th so I received my last payment last Tuesday.  

  I am in a scary situation folks and I have to do something fast. 


  My day job is a teacher but, with declining enrolment and teachers hanging on to their jobs longer, I am struggling by working supply (substitute teaching).  

  The number of days I get to teach vary widely from week to week and I never know what is ahead.  

For example, last week I worked 2. 47 days and this week I don't have a single day pre-booked. I may get calls the morning of or I may not.  


Without EI topping me up to $800 every two weeks, my financial sitatuation is terrifying.  I have three children, rent, food, etc and need to make x amount each month. With EI, I have just been scraping by  . . . so without . . . stress. 


In order to survive, I need to supply teach at least 3 days a week and I have only worked that many times a week a few times this school year.  




What am I going to do? 

I am going to market like mad, that's what!!

 I am going to work my ass of writing so I can get killer content out there. 


I am going to write those books so I can generate an income from them.  




I could get another job but I would have to work a hell of a lot more to make what I do in just 2 days of teaching a week and then would end up having to say no to work which would mean I would not get a long term gig or a permanent position in a field I enjoy and actually pays me to get inspiration for my writing. 




So I turn to my blog and spill my guts out on this page. 




I have been living in poverty my entire life. 




I realized over that last few years that fact. 




I also realized that I have allowed myself to live in poverty because I didn't believe I deserved better.  




 I was holding myself back from reaching my full potential and attaining the life that I so want to have. 






My personal vision of myself and my future has always been simple  . . . 




but I never really stopped to ask why I thought my life would always be a struggle; 




why I didn't see myself financially free; 




why I lived in a one room cabin when I saw myself old.  




I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and listening to the great entrepreneurs talk about how they got where they are.  And every success story I hear about and read about began with belief: believing that they deserved to have financial freedom . . . that success in business was not code for ruthless and greedy. I have come to realize my own prejudices were holding me back. My belief that being financially free and comfortable could only be attained if you were selfish and greedy. 

Boy was I wrong!

See for yourself . . . How to Build YOUR Personal Brand . . . 

As I follow my path to my own success I surround myself with other like minded successful people, even great people.

 These "gurus" and leaders in their fields are just regular human beings who love, face challenges, and work hard. 

Through my involvement in the Empower Network and network marketing I have been exposed to some wonderful, warm, hilarious, and caring people. 

Read this . . . The power of community

The leaders in this industry that I have rallied around are there because they helped others and worked as a team so that everyone succeeded with them.  


I had always looked at sales and marketing as a solitary venture that was cut throat competitive because of what I learned from my mother's experiences in retail sales and real estate. 

I recoiled at the thought of sales and marketing jobs 

 . . . because I am not a selfish cut throat, aggressive person so I didn't think I was going to be good at it.  I have come to learn, thanks to the wonderful community here at the Empower Network, that no one succeeds alone.  

The most successful in any industry got there by working with other like minded and driven people who supported each other, picked them up when they were down, and celebrated each success along the way. 

Is is an honour and a privilege to be part of such an amazing community of positive, caring, powerful people here at the Empower Network. 




Each person here at the EN is changing the world of business and revolutionizing how marketing and business leadership is viewed.  




I am proof that the Empower Network is powerful.  




I now see that I have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur with badass marketing skills because I have the compassion, drive, and positive energy required to be just like those leaders I so admire.  



                   





You can get in on this revolution too!! 

Take a look at this and let's DO THIS :)

Yours in marketing for success

Randine

To read more of my stuff click here.

Rethinking How We Do Business From Home

Success in a Home Business Demands A Perspective Shift That Places Emphasis on the Business Not the Home

   Andrew Cass said it best at last year's No Excuses Summit, when he said   

"Changes in language lead to big changes in behaviour."

Andrew Cass is a well-respected and seasoned Network and Internet marketer who has made 7-figures several times over. He is definitely worth listening to and not just heard. 

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="544" caption="click image to watch"][/caption] We all know there is a difference between hearing and listening, right? Listening requires all our faculties and demands that we internalize, synthesize and apply what we are hearing.    I want you to really listen to what Andrew has to say in the presentation above.   Andrew asked that we alter our language by first turning everything we say we will or want to do into active I statements. Rather than saying it would be nice if . . . or one day I want . . . , we need to be saying "I will . . . " "I will  . . ." statements are powerful and demand action and commitment that other statements just do not. The most powerful understanding that I will take away from this experience is an understanding that most of us who decide to start a business from home fail to realize.  

More than we are now our own boss, we are our own employee.

Working from home has some great advantages. We can go to work in our pjs, skip the shower, make up and personal grooming, and choose our own hours. We can snack and take breaks when the mood strikes and have the freedom to work around our responsibilities in the home. But we need to remember that we are still operating a business and we need to hold ourselves accountable for our productivity just as we were held accountable out in the physical world of work.    We should actually hold ourselves more accountable because as home business owners and operators . . .  

we are our only source of revenue producing activities. 

  Thinking of myself as my employee who needs to be accountable was the single most revolutionary perspective shift I have had to wrap my head around since I made the decision to work for myself.    Here are the Creeds that I internalized - and I hope you will to - during and after listening to him speak at last year's No Excuses Summit:   

I will . . .

work within my "Productivity Strength Zones."

  Andrew introduced me to the phrase "productivity strength zones" but I already knew that he was referring to the importance, in terms of revenue producing and success, of doing what you enjoy and are good at.   

If you are great at direct sales either in person or on the telephone, focus your efforts on those revenue producing activities. 

  If you are someone who has a talent and skill with the written word, focus your revenue producing activities on blogging, copy writing, email writing and sending, info content writing, and so on. 

 In order to maximize your revenue production, you must focus your time and energy on using your natural strengths. 

I Will . . .

break from the time management myth.

 

We all have the same number of hours in the day. We cannot manage time we can only manage ourselves in time.

The difference between me and the most successful out there is how we use the time we have. 

Andrew broke down the hours we have in a week and demonstrated how

just focusing 2 extra hours a day on our highest revenue producing activities (those that will make us the most money) can elevate our productivity level to superior. 

 

And we still have 5 extra hours for free time or personal activities and 8 hours of sleep!

 

I will . . .

devote 2 hours to my highest revenue producing activities each day to go from average to superior. 

 

I will . . .

not check or respond to email, text or phone messages until my revenue producing activities are completed first.

    Seems like a no brainer, I realize, but think about it and answer honestly:  when you start your day, do you focus on your revenue producing activities first?   

I know that I start out with great intentions and then get sidetracked with searches, or go into email to get a link and end up spending an hour checking messages. 

 

It is tempting to do all of that social media surfing before and during your revenue producing activities when you are at home and no one is watching. You forget that you are accountable to your self and any one else who depends on your success. 

  This creed forces us to remember that we are our employee and must focus on business before pleasure . . . even when we are the only one looking.   

I will . . . 

track or record my revenue producing activities in a journal.

 

This too speaks to the fact that we are employees of our own business and need to behave as such. 

Get a day planner from the dollar store or wherever or make one on your computer outlook or on your phone. Whatever method you prefer but just make sure it is a method that you will use daily. Treat it like punching a time clock or recording your hours for a client. This is how you will be able to keep track of what revenue producing activities you utilized, evaluate them, and assess your value as an employee of your company.   

If at the end of the week, you would fire yourself, you need reevaluate and make adjustment to how you use your time. 

To best monitor your use of time in order to see where you can make adjustments, record every activity you engage in during your day and how long they took. Record this daily and at the end of each week, you can assess your value as an employee.        This leads me to my next creed. If I have managed my time well and did my revenue producing activities first each day . . .  

I will . . .

reward myself for hitting my benchmarks for the week. 

 

Rewarding yourself for a job well done at the end of each successful week will not only increase your productivity but make you happier and healthier. 

I will . . .

 have a regular fitness regimen. 

  It is easy as an individual running a business from home to fall into the sloth trap. We don't have to look presentable to the public and we are often sitting for hours on end alone staring at a computer screen.   

 

We are not managing our time well enough to schedule in exercise so we let it slide because we tell ourselves that we are focusing on the revenue producing activities. And there just isn't time. 

 

But Andrew showed us that we can increase our revenue producing activities by 2 hours each day and still have 5 hours to spare. So we have time we just don't make time. 

As the sole owner and employee of our business, we need to stay healthy and strong. Our survival depends upon it.

  Even just 30 minutes a day or two or three times a week will do wonders. For some fantastic High Intensity Interval Training that requires nothing more than your own body weight and dumbells, check this out.   

To watch a short video on HIIT, click link or image above.  

 

The best source for workouts that I have found is 

IntervalTraining.net

You will find mp3s that are designed to fit the interval workouts so you don't have to keep track of time.  There are many different workouts so you will never  get bored.   

HIIT is the best form of exercise because you will never plateau, your body is always being pushed to its maximum and you will continue to benefit from the metabolism boosting and muscle strengthening for up to 72 hours after!!

  I found this after hours of searching for something that fit my lifestyle and lack of budget. I wanted something that would force me to work to my max, not take hours to get the results, be challenging yet simple to execute, and not require a ton of space or equipment. This type of training can be adapted to whatever you already enjoy doing as you saw from the YouTube video.  Give it a shot. You won't be disappointed. I honestly felt my muscles twitching and working for 24 hours :)

I will . . .

have a clutter-free environment.

  I think that is self-explanatory. A cluttered space is a cluttered mind. 

I will . . .

batch my personal activities. 

  This goes back to managing your us of time. Schedule your personal errands and activities so that they happen in a dedicated time slot. If they break up your day they will make it hard to stay focused on your revenue producing activities. 

If you are like me, you need time to get into the right mindset and groove before you can actually engage in those productivity strengths that produce revenue for you and your business.

If you have personal errands like picking up the kids, doing landry, cooking meals, cleaning, housework, car care, hair cuts, and appointments scattered throughout your work day and work week, you will not be able to stay focused on those vital revenue producing activities. 

  Do as many of those personal activities as possible at the same time so that they eat up a couple hours and you are able to plan mentally and physically for them and your time back building your business.       Along with this . . .  

I will . . . 

schedule distractions.

 

I will . . .

create self-imposed deadlines.

  You are your employee so treat yourself like one. Giving yourself deadlines allows you to reward yourself for a job well done and gives you goals to focus on that will help motivate you.  

I will . . . 

 associate with winners.

 

 In order to be a winner you need to surround yourself with winners.

  Surrounding yourself with people who are successful does so many things for you.  First and foremost, it will inspire you and they will teach you things about what it takes to get to the top that you would never learn on your own.  Second, positive energy creates positive energy. In order to do positive things with your life and move in a positive direction you need to be positive and surround yourself with others who are positive and moving in a positive direction.  Being around positive people will help your business and help you personally grow into the successful person you know you can be.  

I will . . .

associate with winners.

  This last creed compliments the one before it.

If you want to be a winner you have to hang with the winners. Learn who they are, what they are doing and how they are doing it. 

Listen to Andrew Cass and other successful entrepreneurs, read their stories, find them online, this will improve your business exponentially because you will learn how to be like them personally and professionally just by being present. 

    In turn, others will come to associate you with the winners and your value will increase as a result. 

 

So I encourage. . .

 no . .  admonish. . .  you to watch Andrew Cass

speak at the No Excuses Summit,

do what he asks,

and apply it to your life and business. 

What have you got to lose?  

Those bad habits?

Sounds like a win win to me. 

To your success and mine, 

Randine. 

To learn how to make 100% commission click here. 

 

How To Market Online Successfully: It's All In The Conversation: How To Use Social M...

How To Market Online Successfully: It's All In The Conversation: How To Use Social M...: Treat Social Media As Another Medium To Build A Positive Relationship With Potential Customers I was reading "Entrepreneur Magazine"...

It's All In The Conversation: How To Use Social Media Marketing Tastefully

Treat Social Media As Another Medium To Build A Positive Relationship With Potential Customers

I was reading "Entrepreneur Magazine" this morning and came across this video that struck a cord with me.

What I liked about what Chris Brogan said was his emphasis on viewing posting, tweeting, stumbling, digging like an introduction and conversation starter. Your objective is to start a dialogue that will develop a positive relationship with your potential customers and clients. It sounds like common sense but we have all seen the opposite happen and may even have made the mistake of trying to sell first when first starting out.

In order to use social media sites like Google+, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, My Space, and so on, to promote and ultimately sell you products or services, there are some basic rules of etiquette that you should be aware of.

1.  Treat your posts like they are conversation starters.

First and foremost, treat social media just as you would a face to face meeting at a conference or social event. Posting on theses social sites and forums is akin to striking up a conversation. Don't introduce yourself by pushing your products or services. Any potential dialogue would end right there.


2.  Use your posts, shares, retweets, reshares, and comments to develop a dialogue and relationship with potential customers.


Once you have begun a conversation your following posts, shares, retweets, and comments should be made with the intention building a positive relationship and nurturing trust. You wouldn't strike up a conversation, have a single back and forth as dialogue and then hit them with your brand and push for a sale if you were face-to-face or on the telephone so don't do it here.


3.  Let your brand and products or services come out naturally in the conversation.


As you continue the dialogue with others online via social media your brand will naturally enter the conversation. As you get to know your prospective customers you will be able to introduce the products and services that are best suited to these people. Allowing your business to become part of the relationship naturally,  the brand trust will be there and you will have much better success selling your products over and over again. Your followers and those you follow will begin to seek your expertise.  

I look back at my first efforts in online marketing

and realize that in some places I came at potential customers

aggressively

before getting to know them

or letting them get to know me.

I failed to look at social media marketing the way I look at offline marketing.

What I will take away from Chris Brogan, and I hope you will too, is that social media marketing needs to approached with the same care and respect as any other form of marketing.

Social media marketing has the same primary objectives as all other marketing strategies:  build a relationship and gain trust so that a loyal customer can be created.

Did this video resonate with you?

Now go out there and engage in the conversation that social media marketing offers. It is the most powerful medium full of eager buyers who just need to be respected and taken interest in.



Please, leave your comments about the video and share any experiences you have had with social media marketing - good and bad - so we all can learn.

Feel free to pass this post and video on!  

Randine

To learn other great marketing tips and "how tos" from some of the best in the business, click here

I Have Been Using Social Monkee All Wrong

If you are like me, 

You probably didn't bother to watch the instructional video to using the spinner on Social Monkee ...

 OR you did...

 like me . . . 

but just weren't fully "present."

So here it is for you to view. 

Watch it carefully and then find that divider key on your keyboard. 

How to Use Social Monkee's Free Spinner


For me, that powerful divider is to the left of the number 1 key on a button with many other symbols. It took a bit of figuring out in order to get the divider to actually present itself on the screen... argh...  so play around with it until you get it to happen for you.


Once you have located the necessary keys, you will have to them take some time deciding what words, phrases, sentences, you want spun and what you want the spun words, phrases, sentences to be. Spun simply means that the words you put in those squiggly brackets will be replaced with other words between the divide symbols inside those squiggly brackets when the links are posted on different sites.


Make sense?


So I recommend you put some thought into what you want to say and the ways you want it said when they spin it BEFORE you stare at that spinner screen.


Well, I hope this was helpful. Happy spinning!!


At SocialMonkee.com You get 25 spins for free over 24 hours but . .

IF you upgrade you can get your content posted to 100 social sites and over time rather in what is known as a drip feed. You can even set the time period for up to 2 weeks but it is recommended that you do it over 10 days. 2 weeks is a long time on social sites and by then you will have a ton more content to spin.


Cheers!!

Review of Empower Network Marketing Boot Camp Day 2: Officially Blew My Mind!!

Check out this review of Marketing Boot Camp Day 2. This is probably one of the most valuable boot camps I  have watched. I can't wait for Day 3.

Watch the videos and listen to the audio so you can apply it and boost your business too!

http://www.empowernetwork.com/ranwes/blog/review-of-empower-network-marketing-boot-camp-day-2-officially-blew-my-mind/

Once you have watched, please comment below. I would love to hear what you think.
Was this information useful? Have you heard of any of these elements before?

Bootcamp Day #1: How To Use Our System To Get The Results That You Want

Bootcamp Day #1: How To Use Our System To Get The Results That You Want

This is the secret ‘8 Step Formula‘ that I’ve used to:

* Personally Sponsor More than 4,000 Paid Affiliates Into Different Companies and Opportunities (without picking up the phone)

* Grow businesses in excess of 15,500 paid customers in less than 75 days

* Pay affiliates more than $1.2 million per month from month one of launching the Empower Network…

…and much, much more. Enjoy the vid:

Bootcamp Day #1: How To Use Our System To Get The Results That You Want

In the next few days, I’m going to teach you how to:
…create viral, sustainable traffic

…generate leads on autopilot

…and recruit 2-5 people per day into any business you desire

If you like this video, leave a comment…

…and I’ll see you on the beaches of the world.

-David Wood

c/o admin

Build 25 Unique Backlinks to Your Pages Every Single Day, FREE!

Building backlinks to your pages is an essential part of SEO (short for Search Engine Optimization) for two reasons. The first reason is that it helps your pages get indexed faster, which is very important because you want the search engines to find them as soon as possible and crawl them regularly. The second reason is that it helps your pages get higher search engine rankings for the keywords of your choice. The more backlinks you have, the better. Period.

However, building backlinks can be a time-consuming, boring process. You can outsource the process to an agency and pay a lot of money... Or you can do it yourself with SocialMonkee! SocialMonkee is an instant backlink builder allowing you to build 25 unique backlinks, every day, FREE! All links are on unique C-Class IP addresses and domains. Imagine being able to create 25 unique backlinks every day, with the click of a button, FREE! Well, you can stop imagining...

So, 25 unique backlinks every day... That's a total of 175 backlinks every week, 750 every month. If you upgrade, you will be able to build 100 uniques backlinks, 3 times a day! That's a total of 2,100 backlinks every week, 9,000 every month! The good news is... you can get a Premium Account, FREE! All you need to do is to refer 12 members, and your account will automatically be upgraded. If you're not really into referral marketing, you may upgrade right now for a low one-time fee.

Submitting a page to SocialMonkee via the members area takes under two minutes, but there's an even faster way! They created a Firefox plugin that allows you to submit your page to up to 100 sites in just a few clicks, using nothing else than Firefox! If you have a Premium Account you will also get access to link reports and RSS feeds, which are great to keep track of your backlinks and get them indexed fast. Submitting your RSS feeds to RSS submitters is actually a very important step in link building.

So what are you waiting for? Join SocialMonkee now while it's still free!

To learn more about how to increase your online income click here

No More Excuses

No More Excuses

As I stand at the sink washing what seems like my millionth soiled glass . . .

I hear myself urging my daughter to follow her dreams and not to let anything or anyone tell her she can't, and it feels hollow somehow.

I fade into myself and all the dreams I have had in my life that were put on a shelf because I listened to someone's discouragements. I recall my dream of singing for a living and my need to express my deepest emotions through song. What stopped me?  

The answer comes to me (as it did back then) as I recall the night I sat in my car in the parking lot, staring at the door to the studio I was to audition to sing lead for an established local band. Fear of failing, I started the ignition an drove slowly away. The knowledge that I would be standing naked, defenceless and raw before a band of strangers who could totally reject me was too much to bare.

At the time,

I felt that allowing myself to be that vulnerable was worse than living with the knowledge that I gave up before I began. I never fully returned to that dream. My heart just wasn't in it enough to do all the hard work it would take to get where I want.

My thoughts fast forward twelve years.

     My marriage is falling apart because I can't deal with the pain, loneliness, and unhealthiness of my environment. I see several advertisements for auditions for modelling and acting agencies.

The first cattle call is held at The Docks in Toronto and I quickly discover  that it is actually a feeder audition - a front - for pornographic film productions. The call me and ask if I would be interested in doing films which will make me $1500 a piece. I decline the offer, regardless of how lucrative and in-obtrusive they made it seem. It is just something I am not interested in doing so I cross that off the list.

The next was for a management agency for film and commercials. The agency was IN Group. They seem somewhat legit so I pay for head shots and  get the full make up and photo shoot experience. My heart wasn't really in this either so I didn't wow them. My gut kept telling me this was not all that it seemed. After the shoot was complete and I met with them to pick up my head shots, I learned that there were more fees and then they would take a commission on top. They were an agency who makes their real income from their clients who pay hundreds of dollars to have them represent them and not in the film or advertisements.

So I go home and cross another hopeful off the list.

The next was a modelling agency.

As I sit in the lobby reading their propaganda and listening to the other hopefuls speak with the "agents" (I use that term loosely), I quickly realize that this was just a fly-by-night scam agency.

They were just there to make money from the dreams of many.

They told a little girl (and her mother) that she had potential but needed modelling training which would cost thousands of dollars and a portfolio which would cost hundreds of dollars . . . and then there was the agency fees and on and on but always with the promise of stardom.

Reeling from the dollar signs, I left that place.

I found out after that they real agencies don't charge you to get involved but will take a commission (referral fee) when you work. They make their money keeping you busy.

I was informed of a local agency who just asked for a headshot, short bio including height, weight, hair color, eye color and birth date and an enclosed self-addressed stamped envelope for them to send your info back to you if will not represent you.

I sent in my info and received it back in a few weeks. I was impressed by their integrity and professionalism but not surprise in the least. I expected as much because modelling and acting were really not dreams of mine.

It was not the path for me.

I was still avoiding my real dream. . . the one I have had since I was young. . .

My thoughts drift to another dream - a more true to me kind of dream. The dream of being a published writer. I have been writing stories and poems from the time I learned the magical power of taking a writing implement and forming letters and words on a page.

Writing with a pen and paper is meta-cognitive. The words and story flow from my subconsciousness through my arm to my hand and onto the page in a mystical and almost spiritual way. Like my reader, I don't know the story until it takes shape on the page, much of the time.

In my youth, I called these sudden impulsive bursts that I have to write down - because they eat at me and take over all my thought processes until I do - brainwaves.

These brainwaves come to my attention as a phrase or even just an image accompanied by anxious energy. It is that sense of urgency that compels - no forces - me to write it down. I learned over the years, that if I fight the urge and do not put pen to paper while that feeling is strong, it will fade and eventually disappear along with the words. There is no writing that piece later. The thought is lost and so is the story.

     In my teen years and young adult life, I wrote prolifically. The brainwaves flow also during times of trouble. I even made a personal oath that when I began to write professionally I would use the first name my mother wanted for me as my pen name. 

That's exactly what they were:  brainwaves. They still happen but for many years, I stopped putting a pen and pad by my bed and in easy reach . . .

I had stopped writing.

Much of the last thirteen years of my life have been filled with raising children, returning to school and struggling to make inroads into an incredibly stable career. A career that would, I thought, allow me the freedom to return to my writing.

At every decade year, my reflections remind me of this longing . . .

. . . longing to write something substantial and be able to say "I am a writer" when asked what I do and for it to be true and not just a hobby I do in my spare time.

Fast forward to the present.

I have been struggling to make it in the teaching profession

doing whatever I can to earn that coveted holy grail

called a permanent teaching position for four years now

and from what I know it could be five more years

before anything opens up.

I began doing personal inventory . . . looking at my dreams and personal ambitions.

I have the time to write and have nothing to lose.

I am at the lowest I want to be.

I am again feeling the desire to write and make it my life and career.

I search the net for opportunities to give this writing professionally dream a fair and diligent shot. I know that the novel is at least a year away from completion. Hell! It hasn't even progressed beyond the research and incubation stage.

I have so many ideas.

Narrowing in and focusing on just one thing has never been a skill of mine.

I look at the life I have and what I am unable to provide for myself or my three children and know I have to make a change and fast.

I decide to work on my writing and see where it can take me.

I began blogging daily here in the Empower Network

(where I also am provided with a great venue to promote my own writing, learn about effective marketing, and earn 100% commission while I am at it . . . it's a Win Win)

and elsewhere because practice makes better.

I also created a website where I publish some of my writings and share in my journey to becoming a published writer.

I know that writing is what I need to do to feel complete and accomplished. Writing is what I was born to do. I love it and need to do it.

Writing is one dream that won't let me go.

It tugs at me and pulls me to opportunities that I have ignored so often. Well, not anymore.

I have nothing to lose because I am near bottom and refuse to go any lower. I have been at my bottom and will fight with everything in me to keep from going there again.

So now I have made the necessary mental shift: no more using my children, economic situation or pragmatism as excuses. I no longer fear failing because not doing is failure:  failure to be true to myself; failure to show my children that they need to follow their dreams and stay true to themselves not matter what.

And so . . .

I begin my journey full of ideas and excitement. I can hardly wait to announce: 

"I finished my first book."

Completing things has always been a challenge for me.

It took until my late 30s to finish my undergraduate degree and teaching certificate. The pride I felt when I received those pieces of paper telling me that I actually finished something I started was so exhilarating. I long to feel it again.

Stay tuned while I share my journey with you.

My children are my motivation and my inspiration. The deserve a better life and so do I. I want to teach them to never give up on their dreams. I had to learn it the hard way.

Randine